Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
ok first of all what the fuck
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
