i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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