So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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