There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
