I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
