STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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