he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
