Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Its about making memories worth repressing
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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