bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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