My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
