Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
