I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
