There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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