a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
