i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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