These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
