Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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