Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
