I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
