Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think a kid would responsible me up
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Randomize
