There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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