i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
