I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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