I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize