As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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