Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
