YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
