Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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