I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
