Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
