At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
