im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
