Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
