But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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