So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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