cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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