Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
