idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
