And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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