I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
