I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
