God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
