O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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