They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
