You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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