Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
