hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize