I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
