ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
