i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
