she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
