eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
