Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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