think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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