well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
