Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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