like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
